DENIAL
“When my Mom told me my Dad was dead. I said, ‘You made a mistake.’ Then I told her that she just wasn’t making any sense.”
“When my parents called me in and told me that my best friend had died, I kept saying to them over and over. “This can't be true.”
“Even though I saw her body, I keep thinking she’ll phone and tell me to meet her at the mall.”
“Two days after my brother died, I thought, ‘He must be lost and he is trying to get back to us.’ I felt panicked because nobody was out looking for him.”
“After I woke up from the car accident they told me my cousin was dead. I thought, ‘Maybe this is just a bad, bad, dream.”
“When my parents called me in and told me that my best friend had died, I kept saying to them over and over. “This can't be true.”
“Even though I saw her body, I keep thinking she’ll phone and tell me to meet her at the mall.”
“Two days after my brother died, I thought, ‘He must be lost and he is trying to get back to us.’ I felt panicked because nobody was out looking for him.”
“After I woke up from the car accident they told me my cousin was dead. I thought, ‘Maybe this is just a bad, bad, dream.”
Denial is a normal reaction to a death
Part of you might understand that your special person has died,
but another huge part of you thinks that this isn’t real.
Shock and denial is normal; your mind simply can’t process what has happened. Denial helps you to unconsciously manage your feelings. If all your feelings came crashing in at once you would be overwhelmed.
Denial will help you survive. You might feel like a dazed robot putting one foot in front of the other. You might feel numb and wonder if your body is no longer connected to your mind. It might feel like you are a stranger watching your own life because you feel no pain, no sadness, no anger…you feel nothing.
Remember, our nature (vague term) protects you from overwhelming feelings. You will accept the death a bit at a time.
but another huge part of you thinks that this isn’t real.
Shock and denial is normal; your mind simply can’t process what has happened. Denial helps you to unconsciously manage your feelings. If all your feelings came crashing in at once you would be overwhelmed.
Denial will help you survive. You might feel like a dazed robot putting one foot in front of the other. You might feel numb and wonder if your body is no longer connected to your mind. It might feel like you are a stranger watching your own life because you feel no pain, no sadness, no anger…you feel nothing.
Remember, our nature (vague term) protects you from overwhelming feelings. You will accept the death a bit at a time.
Things that can help
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You have a right to say out loud that the death can't be real.
You might find yourself telling people over and over that your special person has died. The more you talk about the death the more real it becomes. |
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IF IT HURTS TO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT YOUR SPECIAL PERSON'S DEATH
THEN TALK ABOUT THEIR LIFE.
Talking will help the denial fade away
Painful feelings will come to the surface and
you will move into the grief and mourning process.
Seek out people who can support you.