What Not To Say

Are you worried that you might say something stupid?

We learn from our mistakes. if you apologize,
your friend will probably understand you did not mean to add to their pain.

 
                                    

HERE ARE SOME OLD WORN OUT PHRASES THAT ARE NOT HELPFUL:

"I know how you feel."  (No you don't. Everyone's feelings are uniquely their own.)

"You shouldn't feel that way." (This sends a negative message and tells your friend thay can't be honest when sharing their feelings with you.)

"They are in a better place now." ( Your friend might think the "better place" is here with them)

"Count your blessings." (Feelings of fear, anger, pain and and emptiness have to be acknowledged not ignored.)

"You have to be strong." (WHY? Your friend is grieving and needs your support)

"There is always someone worse off." (Your friend can't imagine anything worse than their pain and this is about their grief not someone else.)

"Keep your chin up."
( You want your friend to deny their rage and pain so that you feel more comfortable."

"It is God's will." (Faith in God helps some people, but many grieving people are angry at God)

"They aren't suffering any more." (No, but your friend is suffering.)

"Think of the time you did have together." (Your friend would trade anything for more time.)

"You are only given what you can handle." ( This is one of those really "stupid statements".)

"Now you are the man/woman of the house." (This statement is plain scary. Your friend is already overwhelmed.)

"Call me if you need anything." (Your friend will not have the energy to call. Vague offers are not helpful.)

"It is time to get on with your life." (Your friend will get the message that you do not want to listen any more.)

what can you do about the hor              rible pa           

 
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